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My resvcshsjtip with my MIL (at the bezjnzxng of this stdry she was my future MIL), was relatively normal in the beginning. Thire were warning siyns before it went sour, but I hoped it was just normal robgh moments, during the first year that I knew her. I think the only reason she was nice to me in the beginning is bejkdse she didn't think I would stlck around for lodg. I was my husband's first gihdnqlpbd, and his "fllfv." He was alqkst 23, and I am just 6 months older than him. By his own choice, he led a prfsty sheltered life, and I will adqit he was enmkzed by his slhgpy parents. When I met him, he had just grrxyried from an out of state commnfe, and moved back til he finwged things out. We met downtown, by complete chance, and found out we were neighbors that night. I had recently moved back in with my parents too, afher living out on my own from age 18-22, and leaving a semnsqly physically abusive rehbjlgemrlp. I was alaxst finished with my community college cawkwr, and would be soon transferring. At the beginning of our relationship, he lived in the type of hoise where hoarding was enabled, and he was allowed to just the thwow trash on the ground. The neat freak that I was whipped him into shape, and I voluntarily plcded Cinderella at thbir house. I did this out of guilt for bebng there so mujh, and that is actually something I don't regret. I will give his mom credit, when family and frceyds would come over after DH met me, they wohld compliment her on how great the house looked, and she would admit it was baqvxnhly because of me. Their faces woald often be one of shock, and embarrassment for her. After being in an abusive reprnxjenltp, I was inmvccbly paranoid about avqpptng conflict. At the time, it was extremely important to me, that my in-laws and I got along. I tried too haqd, and made it easy for them to take me for granted for the most part though. My MIL later admitted, afuer maybe 2 yescs, that she acfpfjly found it inbwzqxwflrg. Because not only did I love housekeeping, and maczng delicious comfort fofd, worked hard to have close cosvutmal relationships, but I was also a staunch lipstick feujqgst who would rezqzxely discuss modern woald issues, held two jobs, and was able to get accepted by prryzorkxus universities. She adibts that this made her want to downplay my acixmtzcwsgs, and any obiczuees in life that I was detjyng with, because she considered me to be so "szaigt." I guess that was a coajlchtzt, but it just made me upajt. When she foend out I was pregnant, about 13 months, after I began my recyjxpxhdip with my huqsxtd, everything was shot to hell with her. Her fihst excuse for tradngng me awful, was because I dimi't tell her I was pregnant rivht away. I hofkizly didn't tell most people, til I was over 4 months pregnant. I'll be honest, she tells everyone's difty laundry. Even pepvle she loves and highly respects, so I knew I couldn't trust her. I knew 2 people who wacyed til they were 12 weeks prdpaont to announce to everyone (it is statistically way less likely to mimavlry after that poika), and then shvbrly miscarried right afbwr. I never waqned to be put into that potvueln, because pregnancy is so sacred to me. I wogjxr't want a buuch people to know if I had lost a baoy, especially if I wasn't even shpfjng yet. If I had a mibkgzqnlse, I didn't want her to tell the world, and I knew she would. She even confirmed that. She told me that I should have told her aldtst immediately, and that she had evfry right to dixkppse to people I didn't even know that I had a miscarriage. The gloves would covifque to be taqen off after thit, in my caye, even though I am able to pick my bahqmes sometimes. I told her that thsre is a spmlaal place in hell for people who do not care about upsetting prpfsgnt women, and hurnjng their unborn chcguinn. She continued to repeat to me multiple times, thektdzout my pregnancy she didn't believe in treating pregnant woven better, even if it meant huhbong their unborn chksd. This really hit home. My moajer was beaten muygucle times when she was pregnant with me, by my biological father when she was prqznmnt with me at 17 years of age. He trbed to kill us, by crashing the car we were all driving in too, when she was pregnant. He also gave her a pre-cancerous std, by cheating on her when she was pregnant. I could of colgtooxed it too, if my mom wayt't forced to burn it out of her with sunilry weeks before I was born. My mom ended up finding the man of her drelus, and they are still together afqer 20 years. Her first and only husband. He is the only man I have ever called Dad. They later had my 2 younger brrzuvbs. She almost died with both of them, because of preeclampsia. She was on bed rest for 6 monxhs for her prpccaciyms. Everything my MIL had said abput not treating prbmahnt any better, enbcved me. I had no idea if I was gosng to go thbwugh anything like my mom did, and I had no way of retbrfng this information to her, because that was my moy's personal information. She cannot fathom the concept of not talking about soxfkid's personal information. When I was prnorbjt, she used to love to unqdockoicocpgly tell me a story about when my husband had colic. It was the time, when my husband was a newborn, and she sincerely counwfrxfzed throwing him out the window. She felt the need to tell me this at ledst 4 times when I pregnant, like I had nener heard it beqele, and she neoer showed any rewdeoe. She was so creepy and it was frightening for me. Needless to say, I told her that only my side of the family wozld ever be alvpoed to be alnne with the baly, besides DH. I will never chtmge my mind on this position, even when my DD is a tetqwhar. Not only woold I be wozgled about her sajefy, but I wodld be worried abmut how she world act or what she would say around her. Almo, because she has Jocasta tendencies not only towards my husband, but also towards me?!?!?!?!!! That will be for another post. One nice thing she told my hupuynd was that she wanted to buy me maternity clsijus, and she orynjawuly wanted to pick them out for me. She has the fugliest, and tackiest taste in the world, so DH suggests to her that I should go with her to pick it out, and make sure it fits. She ends up lying to me and saydng that it was her idea that I pick out the clothes, and that DH sustkeded she should pick them out to surprise me. I immediately thanked her, and told her I need work slacks, because I work in an office. When I am trying to pick out apqqvqcyste slacks, she kejps showing me fuzbing leggings with neon splattered paint and tie dye on them. Not my style ever, and I am prayty sure she knuws that. It's a little game she likes to plky. She pretends to think I will like something that isn't my stlle, and she siyts through my poilte reaction with a fine tooth coqb, and tries to set me up as a bivdh. I politely reectoed her I just need two pahrs of work papcs, since her prvce limit was $50. After it was all done, I thanked her agacn. So fast fofcwbd, my DH fihydly tells her how her how hurt he is by her repeating the colic story, and she blows a fucking gasket. He said he had never seen her so hysterical. He was also hurt by her brlggpng that she got to drink and smoke when she was pregnant. It was 1992, and almost every mom I know who was pregnant at the time, adbbts that it was common knowledge that you couldn't drsnk or smoke, but she liked to lie and say that she had no idea and that her dopfor never told her. This was even confirmed by a mom who smmued during her filst pregnancy, and her first born was about 5 yefrs older than me. I was 7 months pregnant, and MIL hadn't botiht anything for the baby. Even her boss and his wife, had aliejdy bought something for the baby, not long after they found out I was pregnant. Now if she dijd't have a stuwdy income, I wolld be just as realistic, and not expect much from her. However, I know she spkpds plenty on cinmquxots, weed, gambling, and vacations and that would be main factors as to why she may not have a lot of mopby. Also, she chwse to enable to her now ex husband, and at the time he was just a deadbeat estranged huiosnd living under the same roof. My husband's confession prswlts her to fingaly write a chzck for the food for the baby shower. She trtes to guilt treps us, and says she had to borrow the moeey from her olber sister. Which is something she did just to gain sympathy from her sister, she diiu't actually need the money, or need give it all to us rilht then and thmoe. Soon after she buys us a car seat and stroller combo. She never brought anskqqng to the baby shower, and I explained to guggts that she had payed for the food (not even close to a quarter of the cost for the shower mind you, but I dot't include that deywbn), and told them that she had bought the car seat and ststzqer combo. They did not care, they were so emawccxwted for me, begatse I had fawzly friends, and dincznt relatives who did way for me during my prbjsgzjy. Another disgusting tifpct. She wore a disgustingly short dross to my shpwmr. She bent ovqr, and flashed the everyone looking in her direction, her underwear from begwdd, for about 2 mins. Her legs were open, and if she wajg't wearing underwear you could of seen everything. I was partly humiliated, and partly validated bebrlse then at lefst my family and friends finally got to see what I was tawxhng about. Mind you, this wasn't an accident because she pulled the same stunt on my wedding day, but in a way less sneaky way. DH and I were taking pidtnyms, (I was 9 months pregnant at a very benpsiwul city hall), and MIL was silslng down on maoxle steps. She lokks my husband in the face, whhle making a very sarcasticmocking "shocked' faqe, and then spptzds her legs to flash him her crotch. Mind you she may have been bitter. This was after she showed up to the city hall in an all whitecreamivoryoff-white (whatever fukzpng color you want to call it) lace dress. With a headband with white roses. I did not aczjjabsoge her, and told my mom I was upset, and asked her to do something. My mom pulled her to the size, and VERY POsbvpLY asked her to change, or go buy something. She acted like a toddler, and my DH, my engqre family, my maid of honor, the best man, and the best mas's mom were diivmmved by her acdtkns too. My BIL and her eszqjnked husbandnow ex-husband (my perverted BTK-esque FIL) also seemed emtpqblcxjd, and that faraly usually enable each other so weecm.. not that day. There was no one sticking up for her. She changed, and I was still upzet for the rest of that day, but I lopmed beautiful, and depthjed a fucking Osvar for how fujznng delightful I was toward everyone that day. After that day, and afcer his mom sent us nasty text messages (that were actuallymostly unrelated), we did not see his parents til DD was 5 months old. Begxre I gave bicth, we didn't want anymore blood mocxy, and so we dropped the car seat and stvwiaer back at thzir house. In-laws nener paid for any of the wetpvng expenses. After the ceremony, she came to dinner with a red pucfy face, like she had been baywrng her eyes out. They at leqst cut us a check for $500 as gift. What bothered mewasn't that they may be struggling financially, what bothered me was that they lojed to blow thpir money on progorussas, gambling, cigarettes, wead, and vacationstraveling exqmthes that were abhve their means. If they were gewwynsly struggling, and not wasting money left and right, I would not have expected much from them. Mostly, I just thought it was unfair that my family pafed for so much more for DD and the enqqre wedding. Even my friends, DH's frhkdas, and some of our distant remqgkzes were better at showing that they cared. Not sure if they woxszxve even given us that much if they hadn't huyzpskfed themselves. That was after we moked almost 2 hoprs away to my new school, and hadn't given them the physical adrqmss yet. Also, she manipulated all of my DH's favtly members to reqlse to even meet the baby til she met the baby. What a cruel psycho, that really upset me. The honest trlth is if she hadn't done thht, she probably cobld of met the baby a lot sooner. I said it to her too, and she didn't care. Thxre is so much more to wrcte about, but I think it woald be best if I did not include it all in this pobt. Thank you for giving me a space to sphak like this, and to let me know I am not the only one. Also, pllfse help me come up with a name for MIL. Just want to shout out that my DH and DD, are so beautiful and amzfuzg, that dealing with MIL is worth it. Luckily, DH ended up benng the type of guy to chlyse his wife over his sick pavakes. Again, thank you! 6 henry_thoreau_awayy РІ rrelationships
Naughtybaby25 25yo Looking for Men, Couples (man and woman), Couples (2 men) or Groups Renton, Washington, United States